Monday, March 30, 2009

OnLive: Wave of the Future or Recipe for Failure?

Last week's Game Developer's Conference brought news of a potential new contender for your money: OnLive. What is OnLive? Well, that is a little difficult to explain without spurting tech jargon.

In the simplest terms, OnLive acts like TiVo for games. Instead of a using a console or PC to play games, OnLive utilizes a small set-top box and your internet connection to connect to remote server clusters and "streams" games to your TV or PC. Theoretically, this would allow gamers with unworthy computers to be able to run, say, Crysis at maximum settings. Why? Because the client machine isn't actually performing any of the processing. Game saves would also be hosted remotely under OnLive's model.

While the idea is certainly appealing on a surface level, there are many problems with it:


  • Bandwidth.


  • Does the average consumer have access to an internet connection that can allow uninterrupted streaming of content running at a video resolution of 1920 x 1080? The answer is a resounding no, and the amount of lag this would produce would essentially make the games unplayable.

  • Pricing Structure.


  • How much is this going to cost? Do we factor in the price of turbo-internet? What happens if this does kill the console market and creates a monopoly wherein we have no choice but to pay OnLive whatever they ask for?

  • Remote Storage.


  • I really don't like the idea of my game saves being stored remotely. What happens if I cancel the service but want to play the game again? Back to the beginning, bucko. Massive server failure? You are fucked, sir.



There are many other potential benefits/risks to this idea, and I'd like your thoughts on what a service like OnLive could mean for gamers and the industry at large. Post a damn comment.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Most Overrated Games: God Of War



God of War is one of those games that comes along once in a console generation: a game that has been so overhyped by both the publisher's PR department and the gaming press before its release that review scores are pushed beyond the stratosphere so both groups can save face. Unless you haven't owned a gaming console since the Atari 2600, you have doubtlessly heard about God of War and how "perfect" it is. In all likelihood, you bought the game, beat it, and despite a lingering doubt in your mind concerning its magnitude of greatness went on to blabber ceaselessly to your friends about how amazing it was. It's okay. Really, it is. We have all been victims of aggressive marketing departments and a complicit press. Worse things have happened. For example, during the '80's, many of us looked like this:



Before I focus on everything we glossed over ( intentionally ) when experiencing God of War for the first time, I should mention some of the many things the game did well. For its time, God of War had amazing graphics...and it was done on the PS2. The PS2 had well documented hardware limitations that God of War was able to somehow leap past in a single bound. When this game released, the faithful was treated to gorgeous, wide-open vistas with an amazing sense of scale, crisp animations, and wonderfully detailed character models. God of War rivaled practically anything released on Microsoft's graphically superior Xbox console when it came to visual prowess. Adding to God of War's potent aesthetic punch was a cinematic presentation that really got its hooks into the player. Come on, what red-blooded gamer is going to deny wanting to take part in a blood-spattered, tit-punctuated, Ray Harryhausen inspired romp through Greek mythology as a completely ruthless badass with a grudge? If you just said "no sir, not me", you are a fucking liar. What made the illusion of perfection complete for many was the fact that the gameplay mechanics driving the experience were very solid.

The love stops here. "Solid" gameplay is not enough to justify equating a game to being brought to climax by a deity. "Solid" means good enough to not shut the fucking thing off before you beat it. "Solid" is pretty damn far from perfect. Let's go through a few of the glaring flaws in this game most of you were probably to busy jizzing all over yourselves to notice, or worse yet, glossed over because you wanted so badly to believe you had experienced something akin to being fucked hard by an angel with silk genitals:


  • Fixed Camera


  • Fixed cameras suck. I don't care about the developer's "cinematic vision." I want to be able to see where I am going, especially when I have to wade through tricky platforming sequences. Wow! The view is great...oh, fuck. I'm dead. When you can't see where you are supposed to land because a giant column is in the fucking way, it doesn't matter how fucking pretty it is.

  • Useless Weapons


  • Let's be honest: who actually used anything other than the Blades of Chaos and a few spells in this game? Show of hands? Case closed.

  • Box Pushing Puzzles


  • Seriously, have box pushing puzzles been fun since A Link to the Past on the SNES? That was back in '92! Granted, gamers continued to put up with contrived box-pushing and lever-pulling puzzles well into the Playstation era...but at least they were rewarded with a nice, pixelated view of Lara Croft's physically impossible ass for slogging through that bullshit. Sure, there are some great payoffs ( gruesome death animations ) to some of the more nefariously designed puzzles, but they feel like an apology for annoying gameplay. Much like Ms Croft's ass.

  • Quick Time Events


  • Am I the only one who finds these failed Shenmue experiments ceaselessly annoying? Placing a Quick Time Event in the middle of a cutscene ( like Resident Evil 4 ) is fine. Forcing me to participate in an irritating button-sequence contrivance in the middle of combat just plain sucks. It doesn't add depth, it doesn't create "tension." All QTE driven combat does is create frustration and break immersion.

  • Spinning Spiked Poles


  • Remember those platforming sequences from the NES days where if you fucked up once, you had to do it all over again? Well, have fun, because they're back in the form of the spinning spiked pole in God of War. I appreciate a challenge as much as the next gamer. What I don't appreciate is a nod to parts of my childhood I am happy to not have to relive.


Many of these complaints may sound petty, but in the face of a game that received a ludicrous amount of perfect tens from the gaming press at the time of its release I think they are perfectly justified. At the end of the day, God of War is still a great game, but the rose tinted glasses need to come off. In every box of chocolates there are a few hidden turds. God of War has quite a few zits under its pancake makeup, and its about time we recognized them for what they are: nasty blemishes that will make you think twice before kissing her a second time.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Trailer

Enjoy.




Another Casualty

For those of you who use Filefront to download demos, patches and mods for your PC games, there is some sad news. As of March 30th ( yes, that is this upcoming Monday ) service at Filefront will be suspended indefinitely. Upon accessing Filefront, users are greeted with this message:


We regret to inform you that due to the current economic conditions we are forced to indefinitely suspend the FileFront site operations on March 30, 2009. If you have uploaded files, images or posted blogs, or if you would like to download some of your favorite files, please take this opportunity to download them before March 30th when the site will be suspended.



We would like to give a warm thank you to all of you who have been part of the FileFront communities we have built together. Your support has had a meaningful impact for all of us here at FileFront. Again, we want to give you a sincere “thank you” for your support over the years and wish you all the very best.



Keep gaming alive,


FileFront Management and Team.


Contact_us@filefront.com


You heard 'em, folks. If you have any files up on Filefront that you don't want to lose, make sure you grab 'em before Monday. "Troubled Economic Times?" This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with parent company Ziff Davis' insolvent condition, would it? First, the sale of the 1up network to UGO ( who promptly gutted 1up's corpse and fucked the wound ) and now this. Yet another valuable resource down the toilet.

RIP Filefront. You will be missed.


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Welcome, Nerds.

Yes, I called you all nerds. I fit the description as well, and I'm not crying about it. Hell, I'm the guy devoting my time to writing about games here!

I decided to create a gaming blog because...well, we sure as hell can't have enough of those, right? All kidding aside, this space will be utilized to discuss games, industry trends ( the good, the questionable, and the just plain stupid ), and the age old question: is it fun? I intend to post reviews, news, opinions, and interviews. I am not a professional journalist, nor am I a marketing shill. You won't find me flying out to Japan to attend an Arcade Show anytime soon. I won't be getting invited to big industry luncheons in California or reporting live from E3. If that is what you want, there are plenty of other, better resources than this one available on the web. I'll even do you the favor of linking to some of my favorites when I finish constructing this thing.

What you will find here is straight-forward, no-bullshit, hyperbole-free discussion of one thing we all cherish: games. You are not going to like everything I have to say. I reserve the right to thoroughly trash anything I find irritating...and I will spell out my reasoning very clearly. If you are driven to fits of fanboy rage whenever someone roasts your sacred cow, please commit seppuku in your mom's basement. Expect regular updates, an irreverent approach, and a whole lot of fun.

Round one! FIGHT!